"acting white" aka Americanized

Elizabeth Hornbeck

4/18/2015 9:13 PM EDT [Edited]

I am Vietnamese / white American. I was born in 1980. My parents were married in 1978 in Kansas City, MO - I'm the 2nd oldest of 6 children. My father is a service connected disabled Vietnam vet with PTSD - he has 1 leg. He is also a paranoid schizophrenic & has not held a regular job in 35 yrs. I am one of the "lucky" ones who knew my father, a mentally unstable man who I love very much, because he is still my daddy... My parents are still married. My grandparents were wonderful people, we had dinners every Sunday at my grandma's house with all my aunts & uncles. I have never met any of my mother's side, they are all still in Vietnam. I would love to go to Vietnam one day to meet them. It's my lifelong dream, to see who my mother was before her world centered around a mentally ill man who she undeniably loves (to a fault) because she is co-dependent and knows no other way. I am blessed to have both of my parents in my life... These children born of war deserve to be blessed with family, even mentally unstable ones - my father is a good man. My mother worked very hard to support us. We were all born here. We were not accepted by most Vietnamese and most Americans assume I'm hispanic & possibly illegal. So I get different view of prejudice. Hispanics cuss me out because I don't speak spanish with them & they assume that I am & I'm lying and "acting white" when I refuse to talk in Spanish. Comical - but it gets old fast. I never really knew where I fit in. In high school I read about the war babies.... the Bui Doi. They are my people, strong, beautiful.... courageous! I no longer try to fit into a box - I embrace my identity from both cultures. I am very proud of both sides. I have 5 children, a degree education, I'm self employed as well and now going back to school for my BSN after 2 cancer diagnoses & a divorce has redirected me. Asian immigrants work hard, learn English, prioritize education & stay out of trouble....more

Bonnie J. Caracciolo

10:59 AM EDT

In Vietnamese culture (which is very rich and very old-3,000 years) being different in ANY way is shunned. If you are crippled or are blind, for example, you are sent away as it brings shame to the family. Being mixed is considered "different" enough for these kids to have been treated badly. Not only by the Communists but by their own in the South. Things have changed, of course. But the abuses heaped upon the bui doi were probably far worse than this article depicts.

Elizabeth Hornbeck

4/18/2015 9:39 PM EDT

Miss Saigon is a story of the struggle these war orphans have faced - it's not a make believe fairytale like you are referring to. My father is a US soldier, my mother is Vietnamese. I have never seen the musical Miss Saigon, but I read the lyrics in the song "Bui Doi" it was very inspiring. I was born here in 1980. Asian people have a history of being very exclusive - Japanese, Koreans, Vietnamese, Chinese. They don't mix races & think their babies are beautiful... esp back then. Vietnamese were very cruel to me for being mixed & I was raised in the US, never been to Vietnam. And they treated me like I had no business being proud of my heritage. Bui Doi means the dust of life, the lowest thing in Vietnamese society... to be mixed race. We are the dirt on the ground (dust of life). Con Lai (half breed), My Lai (American breed), Bui Doi (dust of life) are all negative terms for mixed children born during the war.... I'm sorry if you thought Miss Saigon had no historical, real life references. We are Bui Doi, the dust of life, conceived in hell & born in strife....(part of the lyrics from Bui Doi song) That pretty much sums up being mixed Vietnamese.... They are Americans, this is American history. I would not exist if the Vietnam war never did.  

Thuy Smith

4/19/2015 9:39 PM EDT

Hello Elizabeth. Yes, lucky compared to many I know. I've actually helped some Amerasians get connected with different resources and sponsored an Amerasian lady from Vietnam to my city along with her family. Real trauma to overcome. This was my way of giving back for my gratitude of having an American Vietnam Veteran father who did come back for my mother and I.

I don't know if you went to the link in my first post, but at the link you will find my piece on the Miss Saigon Conflict / protests and it will explain some of their arguments. I actually don't entirely disagree with some of them, but I did with some of the attitudes and lack of knowledge, and fail to incorporate Amerasians voices or others who are closely connected to them into the debate. I share from my experiences working with Amerasians over the years, my experience, and working with many Vietnam veterans for about 20 years. I was honest, but fair from all sides of the issue. If you have not read it yet, please go here to learn more- http://tsjournal.tsio.org/ (it will be second post on that page).

Thanks for sharing and also to replying to my post. I loved many things you shared and agree. Yes, some Americans only care about "their boys" who were involved in Vietnam and their stories. Some Veterans have also been guilty of this. It was hurtful when they act like they were the only ones who were affected by the war in Vietnam. Some, I say some, of what the Amerasians experience in Vietnam, I experienced here in the U.S. with racism and some abuse (including physically). I was led to feel ashamed of who I was and NOBODY wanted to talk about let alone hear about it.

Today I embrace all of who I am and I am proud. 

Comments above are from this article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/world/vietnam/
To see above comments, scroll down to the article's bottom and click on comment.

This explains why the Vietnamese (mostly recent immigrants) and people from Asia in general, targeted me as soon as they saw me that resulted in physical harm threats that now resulted in a failed attempt beheading.  They might have mistaken me for "bui doi" or "acting white" as I am an Asian-American grew up in NYC; and the old racism of the KKK persuasion as if they are still in their 3rd world homeland, no different then the rednecks and the KKK in America.  

As I learned, they don't show their evil side to "outsiders/foreigners" (none-Asian).

If anyone is interested in my story:  http://eeoccase.blogspot.com/